In these first few posts of my brand-spankin-new blog, I hope all of you learn more about me. I yearn for you to all feel a personal connection with me, regardless of if you know me or not. (I really like the word yearn-by the way).
One aspect of my personality that can be both positive and negative is how I want to be the best me that there can possibly be. In many cases, this means I push myself. I see the potential possibilities of a situation and I want to fulfill them all! How awesome for my employers, right? They’re sure getting the most for their money when I’m scheduled. In my work life, school life, family life, and every single other area-I want to push myself farther. That is the positive side.
Success has always been something I have tried to grasp in every situation. But regardless of what others consider “successful,” I have almost always seen a circumstance of wanting to achieve more. Even when everyone around me has told me I have attained success-I think about the areas I could have done better in and been even more successful. While you may consider this to be another positive side of this many-faceted coin, I suggest that it can in fact be negative, as it was for me. I became obsessed with the idea that I was never going to be as successful as I could possibly be. I would never meet my idea of “perfect.”
This was another thing that led to me self-harming and was a key aspect of my discussions with my counselor.
I have learned that it is important to push myself to work hard at everything I do, but realize that I am only human and that means I will make mistakes. I will never be perfect. But regardless of my unending imperfection, Christ loves me anyway.
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
I don’t know about you, but that is amazing to me. He loves me even though I am a sinner who will never be good enough by His standards. It simply blows my mind. I do not think there is any better way to see how blessed I am than that He has loved me and died for me.